Another day

Alyssa had a melt down last night.  I think everything just came to a head.  She thinks that she will never get out of the hospital.  She is afraid to make any plans in fear that something else will happen to her and she just wants her old life back.  While she was having her melt down the night nurse came in and she was so cute with Alyssa.   When we woke up this morning the nurse asked me what time I was going to my mom's birthday party.  I told her what time and then I asked her why.  She told me that she was going to see if Alyssa could get a day pass to go.  She went and found the PA and the doctor and they both said that my parents house was a little far to go but she could go somewhere within 30 minutes of the hospital.  She got released from her iv pole.  Kirk and her went to the grocery store and went to the apartment and made lunch.  Me, Kelsey and Bryan went to parents house for my mom's birthday party.

Kirk said that she got tired very easy but enjoyed not being in the hospital and hooked to the iv pole.  Her rash is slowly going away.  She seems to be in better spirits after having a good cry.  I am so proud of her.  I think that I would have a melt down long before this.  We still don't know how long we are going to be here but I am sure that we will get some more day passes to leave.  I can't believe how it helps her to just leave this place.

Better Day

Alyssa woke up with the rash all over her body.  When the nurse came in we told her that she needs to have something to stop this.  She agreed with us and told the doctors when she went into rounds.  She is eating good again and they have decreased her nutrition bag by half.  The dietitian told her that she is getting rid of that soon because she eats really good.  All of her meds have been changed to pill form and she has started to cut back on the nausea meds.  As soon as the rash gets under control then the pain pump can be removed.  They have given her steroids for the rash and that is helping a lot.

Her spirits are better.  We watched the "royal wedding" all morning long on the internet.  It was fun to watch.  I remember watching when Charles and Diana got married.  We really loved her dress and her sister's dress. 

All in all the day has been good.  Thanks for all of the love and support.

Breaking News

We sold our house this morning.  We are pretty excited that we don't have to worry about that anymore. 

Now on to Alyssa's news.  Her rash has continued to get worse.  They say that it is because her numbers came in so fast and her body doesn't know what to do about it.  She wouldn't push her pain button on the pain pump because she thought that if she didn't push it, that would make her go home faster.  We finally convinced her that her body can't get better if she is in pain.  The pain nurse told her this morning that she can be taken off the pain pump in the morning and go home that afternoon.  That seemed to encourage her so she has started to push the button again.

Her throat doesn't hurt anymore and she doesn't seem to have the thick saliva in her mouth.  She has eaten oatmeal and juice this morning.  She is eating mac & cheese, cooked carrots and mashed potatoes and gravy, & apple juice.  We went outside for awhile this morning and we are going to go out again. 

She just talked to the PA and they are going to try a topical cream to see if that calms the rash down.  They can give her steroids for the rash but that is the last resort.  She is discouraged because everyone up here has told her that she would feel so much better when her counts came in but she feels worse.  We keep telling her that she is going in the right direction and this is just a little bump.  We are still shooting to get out on Monday. 

The saga continues

Alyssa started getting a rash last night on her chest, armpits and face.  The nurse gave her some benadryl and then put her on oxygen.  I spent half the night reassuring her that she was not going to ICU.  When she woke up she still had the rash and it had spread to her hands.   I left and slept for awhile because I had hit my breaking point.  (Thanks Mike  & Lisa for the apartment, it was wonderful)  Kirk said that while I was gone she had some applesauce and a little bit of cinnamon roll and milk.  Also she had a little bit of fettuccine.  When I got back up to the hospital she started gagging on the thick saliva and the fettuccine came back up.  The PA came in and looked at the rash and ordered some cream for it.  He told her that he would start gradually converting her medicine back to pills. 

Her doctor just saw her and said that the rash might be graft syndrome.  It happens sometimes when the counts come in really fast,  which her has.  Her counts yesterday were 1200 today they were 6400.  He told her that she could go outside for a minute just to get her spirits up.  She feels like she is taking steps backward and they have reassured her that she is not.  Kirk told me that she has not pushed her pain medicine since 8:30 this morning.  Hope tomorrow goes better.   She wants so desperately to get out of here.

Dr. Peterson just gave us the best news

Alyssa woke up with a killer headache and her throat was killing her also.  The nurse gave her some more medicine to take the pain away.  Through out the day it is getting better and better.  We know the headache is from the neutraphils coming in.  Usually you get bone pain but she gets headaches.  She told me that her throat pain has gone down a lot.  She just has really thick saliva that she has to suction out so she doesn't gag on it.  When the nurse came in this morning she told Alyssa that her neutraphil number went up to 1200.  That is why such a severe headache.


When she took the few pills this morning she got them down on the first try.  Usually she had to try several times to get them down.  She has eaten a container of jello today. 

Now for the good news..........  Dr. Peterson just came in and told us that her stem cells have engrafted, so what that means is that the transplant has worked.  He told her it is now up to her, she needs to get off of the pain pump and the nutrition bag.  He told her that he is shooting for Monday to be out of the hospital.  When he left she told me she is shooting for Friday.  When this girl puts her mind to something she is very determined.  I guess we will see how this all plays out.


I can't tell you how happy I am right now.  It has been a long haul and we can see the end of the tunnel coming soon.  Hopefully we can start getting back to normal now.  We had 3 showings on our house in the last 2 days.  We have always thought something wouldn't happen with our house until Alyssa got out of the hospital.  

They are starting to come in!

Alyssa had a fairly good night.  She is frustrated because she wants to eat so bad.  She told me this morning that she just wants her throat to feel better.  She has lost all of her hair again and I don't think that she is as upset about it this time as the first time she lost it.  She just said that she is sad because she was just getting to like her short hair.  Now for the good news.......

Her neutraphils were at 100 today.  Hopefully they will start to come in fast.   She had 2 nurses doing the neutraphil dance for her last night and that made her smile.  

Happy Easter

Alyssa had a great night.  They changed her pain pump last night to have a continuous stream of pain meds all night.  She slept so much better.  She doesn't seem to have as much mucus today.  She still is having a hard time swallowing anything.  She has to swallow 3 pills that couldn't be converted to iv.  She is getting another bag of platelets right now. 

Hopefully her counts will start to come in tomorrow so she can start the road to going home.  She has to be off the pain pump and nutrition bag in order to go home. 

I hope that all of you had a good Easter with your families.  I am so looking forward to not celebrating anymore holidays in this place!

All IV meds

Alyssa had a horrible night again.  Her pain in her throat would not get under control.  They upped  her pain meds.   She was really scared last night because she was having a hard time swallowing.  She thought that she would have to go to the ICU last night.  I went and talked to the charge nurse and she told me what she is going through is very normal.  As long as her oxygen is up and she is breathing she is not going anywhere.  I went and told her that and she seemed to calm down a bit.  Last night she decided that all of her meds needed to be IV because she can't swallow anything.  They are going to give her the nutrition bag sometime today.  She has told me that her throat feels like it has a huge hair ball in it and she can't get it out.  She has a suction thing by her bed and that seems to help a little.  Her voice sounds like she has sucked on helium and then talks.  She still has her sense of humor.  I told her this morning that I was going to heat up  something to eat.  She said to me I am not going anywhere so I will still be here when you get back.  She is such an amazing girl her spirit and inner strength is incredible.  She feels lousy but she still wants to go on walks.


She has to get blood and plates today so that will make her feel a little better and give her some energy.  The pain pump has some pretty strong medicine in it and keeps her pretty drowsy.  The doctors have told her that she should start feeling better on day 10 which is Monday.  They also told us that Alyssa will probably know before anybody when her white blood cells start to turn on.  The reason is because they will start attacking the mucus in her throat first before attaching to the cells.  So she will start to feel better soon.  It is so hard to watch her suffer and I can't do anything to help her. 

Pain drugs

Yesterday went from bad to worse.  I felt so bad for Alyssa.  She was having a very bad emotional day.  Everything thing was coming to a head for her.  She was suppose to graduate from BYU,  she was in the hospital, she was sick and it was her birthday. 

They couldn't get her pain under control from her mouth sores.  She couldn't keep anything down and she just felt miserable.  It is so frustrating when you can't help her.  Around 6 this morning they put her on the pain medicine pump.  That seemed to help with the pain but she still can't keep anything down.  She said this morning that she just feels strange.  We talked to the nurse and she was going to talk to the doctor and see if the pain medicine is too strong for her or if they need to change the medicine. 

I hope that she doesn't have to endure this pain too long.  I don't know how much more she can take.  They tell her that the pain will go away as soon as her numbers start coming back.  As of this morning she was still at zero.  She received her first shot to help her neutraphils to come in yesterday.

On a side note, we still haven't sold our house.  Kirk's job is working out nicely working from home.  He loves the commute!  Kelsey has decided to go to Broadview University studying to be a vet. technician.  Bryan is still trying to decide what school to go to.  He has decided that he wants to do something with web pages.  I guess the world keeps going on even though we feel like it has stopped since we started this ordeal.

Happy Birthday

Well this day has not started off too good.  She had a rough night with her throat pain.  The nurses have been very diligent giving her pain meds all night.  When she woke up she tried some jello and promptly threw up.  She has managed to keep her pills down and she is resting nicely right now.  I hope that the day gets better. 

Kelsey, Bryan and I decorated her room last night while she was walking with her dad.  I was going to get a cake but I will wait and see how her stomach is later in the day.  I hope that she gets feeling better later on.  She is not to excited to celebrate her 22nd birthday like this.  I told her we will celebrate her birthday the right way next week when we are out of this place.  

Another boring day

Alyssa is really getting bored.  Her white blood counts are at zero and her blood counts are dropping but not enough to have a transfusion yet.  Dr. Peterson says it will probably  be on the weekend sometime.  She gets the shot to boost her neutraphils tomorrow.  Her throat is starting to hurt a little and they say that is normal from the chemo that she had.  She is sucking on popsicles and ice.  Hopefully the throat doesn't get any worse.  She has had many walks today.  She was so excited this morning because she told me on one of the walks that she has about a week left.  It has been a long haul and it is so exciting that we can see the end. 

Alyssa's numbers are dropping fast

The last few days have been pretty good for Alyssa.  Yesterday she kept all of her food down.  She is itching from medicine that they gave her to protect her mouth from mouth sores.  She seems to be in good spirits.  She loves not being attached to the iv pole.  She only has to be plugged in one time at night for one hour.  Her numbers are just about at zero.  They want it to go to zero then they can start begin building up.  On her birthday (Thursday) she will start getting the shot that helps boost her white blood cells.  She is really thrilled to be getting a shot for her birthday.  With the shot she will have bone aches because the bone marrow is coming in.  It is hard to have the pain but it also good because we know she is almost better.  Her new goal is to get out of the hospital on the 27th instead of the 29th. 

On another note I met a couple on the floor the other night.  I have been so impressed with him.  He was going into the doctor thinking that he had a kidney stone, but instead he was admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks.  He ran 9 miles the day that he was admitted.  He was training for the Salt Lake Marathon.  The marathon was on last Saturday.  Alyssa and I saw him walking that day with his shirt on from another marathon and his medal that he received.  I saw him later that night still walking.  His wife told me later that he told her he needed to do 26 laps around the hospital the same has the marathon.  He started at 7:00 am just like the marathon.  He finished that night at 9:52.  He would do it all day long taking breaks.  She also told me that her son went to school one day and then came home to find out that his dad wasn't coming home for awhile.  They got a surprise yesterday.  They were told he would have to stay 3 weeks but yesterday they told him that he could go home after only being here for 2 weeks.

It amazes me what everyone up on this floor has to go through and the inner strength that it takes to get through it.  I am so proud of Alyssa and how she has  pushed through everything that has been thrown at her.  I love her with all my heart and I am very proud to say that I am her mother.

We got to go outside today

Alyssa and I didn't sleep very well last night.  I think that we were so relieved to have the transplant done that we couldn't turn our brains off.  Alyssa was a little down today.  She is so bored but I keep telling her that bored is good because she is not sick.  We went for our walk around the nurses station today and her nurse came running up to her with saline in her hand.  She told her that she doesn't have to be attached to her iv pole anymore and do you want it unattached right now.  Alyssa was so excited.  We then saw the doctor and I asked her if we could go outside.  The doctor said lets go into my office to get some privacy.  She told Alyssa that she is doing very well.  Her numbers are dropping but she is not at zero yet.  They will start the nupegen shots (those are the ones she gets to boost her white blood cells) on day 6.  Today is day 1.  She is eating well, drinking good.  Then she told Alyssa the magic words, yes you can go outside.  I think Alyssa was going to do a dance right then. 

We went for a walk outside and she said that she was hungry after a little while so we came back in and had some lunch.  She then promptly threw up.  They gave her medicine for that and then she wanted to go back outside.  I told her lets wait and see how the medicine works.  She then went to sleep for awhile.  After she woke up we went for a drive to a park and just sat on a bench in the sunshine.  We had to go back to hospital to get some more medicine.  She was very depressed to go back to the hospital.

When Kirk came she wanted to get  a movie so she went and asked if she could go with him to the video store.  They said sure.  She was so excited. 

All in all it was a pretty good day. 

The transplant is COMPLETE

This calendar says Life is all about how you handle Plan B.

She woke up today to her "NEW" birthday.  When you get your transplant they call it your new birthday.  The nurse told her that she can now drag her birthday on for a week.  Kelsey brought up a cake last night to help her celebrate it.  She also made another cake for a PA that told her that it was his birthday also.  After awhile we will have a party with the nurses that are up on the floor. 

It was very interesting how they transplant her cells.  They first have to pre-medicate her so she won't get sick during the transplant.  They give her something in her iv that has sugar in it to make her go to the bathroom.  After all that they bring in a warmer to warm up her cells.  The stem cells arrive and they take them out of their container and warm them up.  The nurse then puts them in her iv just like a blood transfusion.  They put 3 bags in and they were about done in a hour with the whole process.

Before all this happened the nurse told her that they check her vitals every 5 minutes and she might have to oxygen.  Her eyes kept getting bigger and bigger and she started to get more nervous.  She told me that she was terrified that she would have to go back to ICU.  The nurse came in and talked to her and told her that she has been doing this for 14 years and she has never seen anyone go to ICU.  She did wonderful all through it and her oxygen level never dropped below 100%.

I have included some pictures of the process and also a Christmas present that she got in February.  I bought the calendar in October sometime not knowing what she was going to have to go through.  Also some pictures of Bryan's graduation.

I am so relieved that this day has finally come.  They say now her numbers will bottom out in the next few days and then we have to just wait for her numbers to come back up usually around day 10 or 12 from today.  Such a good day!

Bryan's Graduation ( I don't know how to flip the pictures so you will have to just turn your head)

Bryan and Kirk

Bryan & my Parents

Alyssa's new birthday cake.  Don't you love her hair!

This is how her stem cells came.

This is the warmer that they put the stem cells in before giving them to her.

Nurse Michelle giving her back her stem cells.

Much better day

Alyssa had no headache or vomiting all day long.  They only thing that she did most of the day is sleep.  I think it is the after effects of all of the medicine.  I guess she really knows what the meaning of a rest day is!  Tomorrow is her transplant.  We are about half way there!

LAST CHEMO JUST CAME DOWN

They just took down her last chemo bag.  If all goes well she will never have to chemo again.  This chemo has been very rough for her.  After I posted yesterday she started to throw up around 6:30 she then threw up around 3:30 am.  Her headache is what is giving her the most problem right now.  She hasn't been able to eat much today.  They have given her some different medicine for the pain and have scheduled nausea medicine instead of her requesting it.  I hope that later on today she can eat something.  She is really concerned of being put on the nutrition bag.  I feel so sorry for her and I can't do anything to help her.  I am sure  tomorrow will be a better day without chemo. 

One more to go

Alyssa is feeling really good.  She has not had any nausea for 2 days.  They are going to switch her meds back to pills.  They changed all they could on Sunday to iv when she was throwing up so much.  They started her second round of chemo today.  It is quite the process to say the least.  They have to give her latex, potassium and saline iv about a hour before the chemo.  They want the kidneys to start working more than usual because the chemo she is getting attaches to the kidneys and causes all sort of problems.  After the latex, potassium & saline mix they give her another iv that coats the kidneys so the chemo won't attach to it.  After that the chemo runs through her around 4-5 hours.  Her iv tree is quite full right now.  She is complaining of a slight headache but other than she is doing good.  She has only ONE more round of chemo tomorrow.  Hopefully that will be the last chemo FOREVER! 


I am very grateful that I or anyone in my family have not been sick through all of this.  I know that the Lord has blessed us in this matter.  I can't imagine what we would have done if anyone of us have gotten sick. 

You Go Alyssa

I can't believe what amazing daughter I have.  She had a horrible day yesterday and I could tell that she was getting discouraged.  She kept trying to eat something and she kept throwing it up.  After many tries of drugs I think that they finally found the combination that will work for her.  She ate chicken noodle soup and some sprite and kept them down.  After keeping it down she looked at me and said, "we can do this".  I can't believe the inner strength that she has.  She DOES NOT want the nutrition in the bag.  She slept really good, I am sure it was all the drugs pumped in her.  When we woke up this morning the sun was shining and her nurse came in and said that they wanted to take her to do her  last MRI.  She hoped out of bed and said lets get this done.  I about fell out of my chair.  She has hated the MRI's in the past and has had almost anxiety attacks over them.  I am waiting for her to come back and then we will try a real breakfast and see how that goes.  She had her last dose of the first round of chemo last night at midnight.  Today is a rest day.

The day just keeps getting worse

Well the day has just drugged on and on.  Alyssa can not keep anything down.  I asked her how she was doing and she said matter of factly to me, I feel like crap!   I told her you go girl.  We are trying to keep positive and hopefully this phase will pass quickly.  She has thrown up all day long and they have given her about every drug for nausea.  She will probably have to have nutrition in a bag tomorrow if things don't start looking up.  She is really dreading that!  I keep telling her that is better than having a feeding tube and she needs to have nutrition or we would be dealing with a whole lot of other issues.  Keep her in your prayers to help her get through this rough time.

It has started

Alyssa had a rough night last night.  She started throwing up around 2:30 a.m.  She has thrown up  3 times since that.  She is resting right now.  I hope she is doesn't get much worse than this right now.  She has 3 more doses of chemo and then she will get a break. 


Kirk and Bryan got back okay and Bryan is a college graduate.  Kirk said that it was good to see him in his cap and gown.  Thanks Mom and Dad for going to support Bryan.  Thanks everyone for the love and support.

7 dose and counting

Alyssa just got done with her 7th dose of chemo.  Only 9 more to go!  She has had no side effects of the chemo yet.  They keep telling her that she might get sick the longer she has the chemo in her system.  We are hoping that is not the case.  They give her the chemo every 6 hours starting at 6 am.  She is very bored right now.  She is totally different this round.  She is more aware of what is going on.  On Sunday at midnight she will be done with this round of chemo.  On Monday she will have a break and then get different chemo for 2 days and then have a break and get the stem cells on the 15th. 


Kirk is on his way up to Rexburg tomorrow to move Bryan home and watch his graduation.  He is getting his associates degree.  He his going to go to school somewhere in Utah but just doesn't know where yet.  I believe he wants to work on web pages.  I am very proud of him and I am so glad that he is understanding why I can't be there to support him.  Our house still hasn't been sold.  Many lookers but not the one yet. 

We are in the hospital

Well we arrived yesterday around 1:00 p.m.  her door was a revolving door for awhile with all that goes on with checking in.  She got settled and got her iv's started.  We had a pretty rough night.  We both forgot what it was like to be waken up all night.  If anyone wants to come and see us we are in E850.  Same rules apply as before, no plants or flowers.  If you are sick we would love to see you but you need to stay away until you are better.  No germs are allowed in this room.  Also the hospital has requested that no children are to be up here.

They started her first dose of chemo at 5:38 am.  They have to know the exact time that they gave it to her and the exact time that it finished.  After it finishes they have to take blood from her every 15 minutes throughout the day.  Every 6 hours she will get more chemo.  The reason that they have to be so exact with this first dose is because they have to see how her system is metabolizing the chemo.  After all the blood draws are done they fed ex the samples to Seattle.  They look at them then let the hospital know if they have to adjust the doses for the next  round of chemo.  It amazes me what needs to be done to get it done right.  I am so grateful for the good doctors and nurses that she has.  It gives me much comfort that they know what they are doing to get Alyssa better.

We have people looking at our house but no offers yet.  My patience is running out, I guess I need to have faith that it will sell when the time is right.  Sometimes the Lord's time frame is completely different than mine!

On Board to go to the Hospital

We went to the clinic today to have the conference telling us what to expect in the hospital.  Alyssa has to go to the clinic tomorrow to get a medicine that coats her mouth and esophagus.  They give this to her to help prevent mouth sores.  The chemo that they will be giving her sometimes gives you mouth sores.  On Wednesday she has to check into the hospital at 1:00.  She will be given a lot of fluids and pre chemo drugs.  On Thursday at 6:00 am she will be given her first dose of chemo.  They have to give this chemo 4 times a day until they have reached 16 doses.  She will then have a break for a day and then be given another chemo for 2 days, once a day.    Then a one day break and then her stem cells will be transplanted.  They are planning on doing the stem cells on the 15th.  If all goes well they are predicting that she will get out of the hospital on the 29th of April.  She is still holding on to getting out of the hospital by her birthday on the 21st but that is probably not likely.  We will have to have a big party for her in the hospital and when she gets out. 

She is kind of nervous but she knows that it can't be any worse than the last time she was in the hospital.  At least she knows what to expect this time.  Please keep her in your prayers so all will go well and that we can sell our house.